Today, September 26, is the anniversary of the day I was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Every cancer survivor remembers that date forever. I remember the doctor's appointment as if it were only yesterday, and yet I have experienced so much in the year since.
We went out to dinner that evening because we were so late leaving the hematologist's office. It was a Friday, and the hematologist wanted me to start chemo on Monday. He kept talling about my disease, and not until directly asked did he admit that it was cancer. We were numb. We ran into some friends in the restaurant and didn't tell them. We didn't know what to say, couldn't process the information.
We spent the weekend on the web, learning all we could about this disease. We phoned the kids. By Sunday we had talked with another oncologist and plans were underway for a second opinion. We began to learn all we could about our U.S. medical insurance that we had rarely used, as the new oncologist was in Buffalo NY. We researched all the possible chemotherapy regimens for my disease, and the side effects down the road from them. In the end, I started chemo a month later at Roswell Park in Buffalo, with a different chemo regimen than the first hematologist had suggested.
Once the chemo started, I had no energy to do anything, and found it difficult to spend time anywhere but my bed. It's hard to remember now, but I would go downstairs but once a day, for dinner, and often had to go back upstairs to bed before dinner was even over. I didn't have the strength to hold a book in my hands and so borrowed lots of audiobooks from the Library and other sources. I didn't have the strength to sit up in the living room to watch TV so Barry bought me a TV for the bedroom. I didn't have the strength to stand in the shower and so we bought a shower chair that I could sit in while showering.
Many cancer survivors look beyond the medical profession for help, and I was no exception. I downloaded Guided Imagery tapes from many sources, and listened to them for at least an hour or two each day, for help with healing images and positive affirmations. There are some that help you visualize the chemotherapy that is going into your body as a fountain of pure healing light washing away the bad cells.
I subscribed to mailing lists for people with my type of cancer, but found that the stories were upsetting to read, and after a while I had to cut back on how often I read them.
We ordered books on Lymphoma, but only Barry read them for I had developed chemo brain, a type of brain fog, and could not retain what I read (and could not hold the book anyway).
I learned that we had some really good friends and family who cared about me. I received emails and cards galore, and made up a small album so I could read them over regularly. We received casseroles and biscotti, flowers and plants, a prayer blanket, a healing shawl and two quilts from special family members.
I heard about Wellspring, an association in my very own community that offered programs for cancer survivors and their families. Although I was too fatigued to attend many classes during my chemo, as soon as it was over I signed up for yoga once a week, and then for QiGong as well. I now go 3 mornings a week for those classes and a relaxation class. Volunteers make hats and teddy bears and quilts for cancer patients to have a little sign that someone cares. There is always someone there to give you a shoulder to cry on.
I want to thank my husband, Barry, from the bottom of my heart for all the support he has given. From the very first he has held me, and cried with me, and comforted me, and driven me to all of my appointments, brought me meals in bed, cooked, cleaned, done laundry, groceries, talked to people on the phone who called to see how I was doing, while holding down a full time job and taking care of our house and yard. He is my rock.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Unremarkable results
Yesterday I went for my first checkup in two months. I had my fourth CT Scan last week and bloodwork done yesterday.
The radiology report said that there is no evidence of lymphadenopathy in my chest, abdomen or pelvis, and the the results were "unremarkable". I guess this means that nothing was found. My lymph nodes are apparently back to a normal size.
Although my hemoglobin and white blood cell count are still below normal, the neutrophil count is now in the normal range, and this is an important indicator that my immune system is doing better.
All in all, a very good checkup! I go back in January for another round of tests.
Although I have a head cold right now and am feeling under the weather, I had started to feel less fatigue, and now estimate that I am back to 80% of normal functioning.
The radiology report said that there is no evidence of lymphadenopathy in my chest, abdomen or pelvis, and the the results were "unremarkable". I guess this means that nothing was found. My lymph nodes are apparently back to a normal size.
Although my hemoglobin and white blood cell count are still below normal, the neutrophil count is now in the normal range, and this is an important indicator that my immune system is doing better.
All in all, a very good checkup! I go back in January for another round of tests.
Although I have a head cold right now and am feeling under the weather, I had started to feel less fatigue, and now estimate that I am back to 80% of normal functioning.
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